Suggested Viewing

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021)

A live-action/stop-motion mockumentary, featuring the voice of comedian Jenny Slate.  One of the most powerful themes is that of kindness.  Marcel is unfailingly kind, not only to others but also to himself.  He accepts others' complexity at the same time he embraces his own. It is easy to relate this to the concept of ahimsa in Buddhism and Hinduism.  Ahimsa is the principle of harmlessness to self and harmlessness to others (non-violence).  There is also a strong message about the aliveness we feel in connection to others - family, community, even strangers.  Both developing kindness to self and others, and opening to true human connection are crucial aspects of the therapy journey to feeling fully alive.

Pluto (Studio M2, 2023)

Pluto is an anime short series released on Netflix, and based on a manga of the same name. The story is told mainly through the experiences of super-advanced AI entitities. Perhaps the way the whole series wraps up is a bit sappy...but we can see Pluto as an exploration of the impact of trauma, the healthy striving to discover who you truly are, and the value of fighting to live as your most authentic self.

Inside Out (2015), Inside Out 2 (2024)

These films are charming, and also provide a great representation of the complexity of our inner experience.  What I feel these films illustrate so beautifully is that there is a process of psychological, developmental maturation as each person grows into their fullest Self.  This process in involves learning to be with all of our inner experiences, without excluding any, and without being high-jacked by one to the exclusion of others.

Any effective therapy involves this process in some shape or form.  A way I support you in doing this work very consciously is by using the approach called Inner Relationship Focusing (you might want to check out the "How We Work Together" page).

Star Trek: Next Generation - "The Perfect Mate" (season 5, episode 21)

I confess, I love Star Trek - all permutations of it, although TNG is my favorite because it explores psychological issues more than the other series, and in that way was a breakthrough in its time.

One theme in “The Perfect Mate” is a core dilemma of most women's experience: Being intrinsically powerful, intelligent and capable, yet potentially caught in transactional relationships in which the woman is reduced to a sexualized object. It is also a coming of age story, including the power of ritual in preparing for transition and in transformation itself.

Perhaps most importantly, it is also a story of coming to know oneself through relationship with others: In order for the Metamorph character to successfully face what is required of her in her life, it is essential that she be able to be genuine with at least one person, and feel understood and appreciated for her uniqueness. Having that important experience, she matures and is able to consciously accept and even proceed with an arranged marriage. Some might protest that choosing an arranged marriage is choosing to be "fake" in her day-to-day life, when she should fight all convention to live a fully genuine life. However, the Picard character comes to respect that she is making the choice based in her own deepest value system (to bring peace between two worlds), and that this is also important in giving her life meaning and (on a deep level) living authentically.

Likewise, one of the unique and healing aspects of a good therapy experience is exactly this chance to be genuine in another's presence, and to be respected for who you truly are, your values, and the choices that allow you to live in concert with those values to live a meaningful life - even if how you express that genuineness may surprise others.

The King's Speech (2010)

In a number of ways, The King's Speech illustrates components of therapy. The Prince Albert character suffers from an inner pain and humiliation; and he vacillates between persistent resolve and dismay while he tries to change the problem. His considerable wit, intelligence and compassion are also evident as he struggles with a sense of being trapped within his problem and his life circumstances. Many people--especially those with long-standing emotional challenges--can relate to this.

The approach taken by the speech therapist character incorporates practical exercises (even some that are helpful but seem absurd, like singing through your worries) alongside just enough exploring under the surface of what's happening to appreciate the emotional underpinnings of the problem. That's similar to the balance I try to strike in working with people - mostly dealing with the here-and-now, but in no way overlooking the complex history of issues in your life. The relationship between the prince and speech therapist is also interesting: You see the importance of balancing mutual respect and frankness that pushes both of them to develop, and even see a rough patch in their relationship when the therapist makes a misstep (even though his intent it to help) and the prince recoils in fear and pain. The humility from each of them when resuming the work together is important - missteps and misunderstandings can occur in the course of therapy, and it's important to be upfront about what's happened and learn to move through it together.

Even the role of Prince Albert's wife is illustrative: Her resourcefulness and support are immeasurably helpful when he has given up on seeing yet another doctor, and when he is facing his fears. Not everyone is lucky enough to have this kind of support in their lives, but at least you know your therapist is one your side (as in the film, the speech therapist is present and supportive throughout).

What Dreams May Come (1998)

This is a unique book that also has been made into a film. The visuals in the film are very powerful in terms of what I hope to highlight here. Whether or not you take to the messages about spiritual afterlife and reincarnation in the story, there is a very significant psychological message: We create our own emotional realities through our perceptions and interpretations of events in our lives. Those emotional realities go on to inform our actions, decisions, and interpretations of the world around us.

In the most positive version of this, the film beautifully illustrates how the things we are most passionate about bring vibrancy to our lives (the painted landscape, the architecture borne from Mozart). In the darkest version, we see how the wife in the movie becomes trapped in a sense of deprivation, isolation, helplessness, and hopelessness - which, in the story, does not end with death.

There is also a very powerful message of unconditional love being a healing force, which it is. Interestingly, however, it is also a crucial element in the wife's healing that the husband willingly joins her in her despair, rather than invalidating it. As I therapist, I resonate to the importance of offering you a non-judgmental space in which you feel you are not alone in going through whatever you are going through, in the service of you coming through feeling whole and re-enlivened.